He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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