Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
