why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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