wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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