At least make sure they are 18
Why
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
