Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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