Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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