Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
