someone get that fucking seahorse.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
