Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
