I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
