3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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