I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
