I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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