new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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