You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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