? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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