Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize