I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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