yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
