What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
