i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
