8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
A+ Viking dick
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
