Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
