Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
