You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
