Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
