theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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