Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize