I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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