My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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