There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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