i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
