Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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