I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize