If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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