Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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