I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
