A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
do herpes really smell.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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