I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
