just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
