Jerry, you need to find god
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
