Nicole vs. Life
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
