HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
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