I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
