the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
