Cold hands, warm shart.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
