What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
