he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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