listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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