cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
