I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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