Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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