would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize