you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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