i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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