what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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