Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
