The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just gargled with NyQuil
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
