Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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