just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
