Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
