Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
