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• (714): View more from California

  It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.

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• (714): View more from California

  It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.

  Fav 7 1006 1927

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.

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• (585): View more from New York

  let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.

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