Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I enjoy the company of your penis
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
