Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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