So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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